Jay's Report on Zane's Anatomy and Physiology
by VelvetPersona
Summary: Just something I did for fun in Jay's POV based on my own hypothesis about Zane's A&P. Truly for entertainment purposes so everyone have fun reading this!


Hey there! Jay Walker here! You know the cool blue Ninja of Lightning, the best one of the bunch, the one who INVENTED Spinjitsu! Nah, I'm just kidding about the last one, but the other two are true, I mean come on just look at me!

Wait, I'm getting off the subject here...AHEM! I'm writing this here report after my brothers and I returned from our SUCCESSFUL rescue mission of the Kunoichi. Since Zane would've surely died without me being there after Skalidor had impaled him I feel like I have to write this report just in case history repeats itself and I'm not there to save the day, although I hope and pray that won't happen...

OKAY! I hate when things get gloomy and stiff and I REALLY hate boring stuff, so I'll try to make this thing as fun and educational as possible. Oh and I'll also use small words for you guys, Kai and Cole, since I don't want you two to have brain seizures trying to understand what I'm saying here just have the girls or even Lloyd clue you in if you get lost. *Sigh* sorry guys no sock puppets either, so let's begin shall we! Professor Jay Walker is in the HOUSE!

First off, I have to say Zane's father Dr. Julien-Chernov was an absolute genius! Zane is undoubtedly the only one of his kind, the articulation and bioengineering used to create him was sheer brilliance. Alright Zane, this information is based off what you shared with me so here we go!

Let's start with the circulatory system, Zane doesn't have a heart. In place of it behind the motherboard is an extremely intricate and delicate network of circuits Zane likes to call his Coronary Circuitry. It does all the functions a normal heart would do such as Pulmonary Circulation, Systemic Circulation, and Coronary Circulation, only difference is his blood pumps faster giving him an edge over the rest of us in the aspect of stamina. Which according to you Kai he outlasted you in endurance when we were chasing after the falcon which led us to Zane's birthplace. If you guys passed biology in middle school then there should be no questions about what these processes are.

Moving on to the respiratory system, Zane has a nice set of lungs stationed in front of his Coronary Circuitry, again same physiology as a human lungs though I must admit his are a bit better. Even though we all went through training in meditation, Zane is the only one who truly mastered controlled breathing. Kai lost patience, my mind kept wondering to various things such as my next invention, funnier jokes, and er…good conversation topics for when I talk to Nya. The last thing I want to be in her eyes is boring which I know I'm not it's just that—OKAY! I'm getting off topic again. Anyway, Cole's pretty good at sitting still for long periods of time though I have no idea what he's thinking about when he attempts to meditate. Probably a red velvet cake in the shape of Sasha *snickers* it would explain why he smiles sometimes…Sasha if you're reading this just to let you know your man is a perv! (No offense Mr. Leader ). It's a whole different ball game when we're all moving around through the shadows because like Sensei Wii I mean Wu says: "To move through the darkness properly, controlled breathing is just as important as silent footfalls, each very important to follow the Path of the Shinobi."

Unfortunately, Zane kicks our butts in that aspect too *sigh*. At any rate, back to his breathing, Zane is able to decrease his heart rate and expand his lung function which helps him while he meditates underwater, so contrary to popular belief he _**cannot**_ breathe underwater _**indefinitely**_. Speaking of which Ayane had a good question: "Will CPR work?" Yes to a certain extent, so feel free to give your Snugglebunny the Kiss of Life if the situation calls for it. However, if Zane's lungs do indeed fill up with water the only person strong enough to rectify the problem is Cole since Zane's body is made out of such strong durable titanium enough pressure most be applied to Zane's upper body to make him vomit the excess water. This also means Cole has to be the one to apply the Heimlich maneuver if Zane starts choking. Okay, that sums up his respiratory system—WATERPROOF! That's right Zane is also waterproof which is kind of a given, but moving right along.

Actually well…Zane can't get sick, his immunity levels are top notch thanks to the help of his super blood Nanotech and incidentally it makes him immune to _**all **_poisons and levels of venom which is why Venomari spit won't work unless it hits his eyes. Easily rectifiable however, thanks to Zane's falcon Hayate (Ayane named him apparently and Zane decided to keep it) with the help of his Falcon Vision. Zane's little buddy also plays a major role in aiding Zane's health. His body contains an endless supply of Nanotech and a filtering system to apply blood transfusions.

That was kind of like odds and ends right there…let's see…the digestive system is pretty self explanatory. Hmm…and the reproductive system I refuse to get into because I didn't ask and don't wanna ask though I'm sure he would of told me if I did since "Zane" equals "no shame". Is it even worth mentioning his brain? Huh, probably not I mean the guy can think faster than most supercomputers.

Yeah, that's about it everyone. Zane may be filled to the brim with complex wiring, but his treatment is relatively easy and most of the time he can cure himself. If anyone has any questions feel free to consult with either Zane or myself. Until then, see ya!


End file.
